All posts by Observer Staff

Editorial, News

Unable to stay connected

 

If you type “Macintosh pinwheel” into a google search bar, you will find countless articles and comments from irritated customers saying things such as the following, from a 2009 CNet article:

“Patience may be a virtue, but in the case of Mac OS X’s dreaded spinning pinwheel process indicator, even the most tranquil users can find themselves more than a tad anxious for the standard arrow cursor to re-appear and normal system operation to appear.”

Sometimes referred to as “The spinning pinwheel of death” by Mac users, Observer staff has recently had the opportunity to learn first hand what all of the fuss is about while dealing with a variety of computer-related issues that halted production.

Read the full editorial…

Campus Life

MedFlight lands on campus

 
A MedFlight landed on the Haverhill campus to carry an injured motorist to the hospital after a car accident on nearby I495
A MedFlight landed on the Haverhill campus to carry an injured motorist to the hospital after a car accident on nearby I495 Chad Gorham

After a serious car accident on Interstate 495 on Wednesday, April 20, a MedFlight helicopter was forced to land on the NECC’s sports fields to meet an ambulance which was carrying a seriously injured person.

As the ambulances and fire engines began to arrive on campus, nobody blinked an eye, but then a loud roaring engine began to get louder and louder. Faculty, staff and students began to pour out of their offices and classrooms to see what was going on. The baseball team was in the middle of practice directly next to where the helicopter landed. A lot of confusion was beginning to take place as nobody had an idea what was going on. Some people thought it might just be a training exercise because the police academy and Haverhill firefighters usually train on campus.

About two minutes after the helicopter arrived a couple security guards came running over from the direction of their office at the Technology Center.

Dina Brown, the Director of Student Engagement asked them what was going on.

As they ran by they responded with, “We are not sure yet.”

After a few minutes security returned to let everyone know that it was not a training – that it was an actual emergency from a car accident that had happened on 495.

Some students were concerned with the confusion that the helicopter caused on campus. Most did not know that NECC was in fact a spot where MedFlight is able to land because of its vast open spaces.

Jennifer Assenza, a Criminal Justice major, said, “The presence of the police academy has led to several incidences where the faculty and students have expressed concern. When the helicopter landed on school grounds, this was just another source of confusion.”

Tarah MacGregor, a Liberal Arts major, did not witness the event, but when she heard about the event she immediately thought back to the day that she witnessed the police academy climbing the stairs in the C building with their finger guns.

“I wouldn’t know how to tell a real drill from an emergency drill at the school. I was one of the students going down the stairs when the cadets had their finger guns. I had been walking down the stairs and when I turned into a new flight it took me a minute to register he wasn’t actually holding a gun, because my immediate reaction given today’s society was fear. I don’t think I have ever been so scared in my life until I realized it was his fingers.”

Sara Pena, an Engineering major, is concerned with the confusion of students knowing what is real and what’s not real. “I feel that they might blur together and students just might brush off an actual emergency as a drill.”

Pena feels likes there is no clear way to distinguish which might be real and which might not be.

Pena said, “The students most likely find it confusing because we never get information about anything that happens on campus. Almost like we don’t deserve to know.”

Colby Patrie also did not see the helicopter event but felt very strongly about it nonetheless.

“I can see how that could cause confusion, but me personally, I would have thought it was an accident or an emergency.”

Sports

Old handball court demolished

 

By: Giovanni Rosano

Correspondent

NECC’s handball court was recently demolished, along with its ten-foot-tall wall. It could previously be seen on the side of Kenoza Street on the edge of the school’s campus. If you go by there now, all you’ll see are four piles of what used to be the wall.

Local NECC student James Costello is a lacrosse fanatic and Motion Science major who used to play on the court with a bunch of his friends.

“I used to play little 3-on-3 pickup lacrosse games all throughout the summer there on that wall, but I guess I’m going to have to find another wall.”

The new Project Facility Manager, Clayton Ross, made it a priority to demolish the handball wall and court for safety reasons. Ross had begun his new position as Project Facility Manager two weeks ago when the old Project Facility Manager David Gingerella had retired.

“The plan came from David about 16 months ago. Over time the surface of the handball court becomes damaged beyond repair,” he said.  He explained that the wall was not much at all used by NECC students. Members of the Haverhill community did use it, but non-students playing on an unsafe surface on school property is considered a liability, he said.

Ross was given orders by Gingerella to take down the handball court and wall.

“The foundation of the court was too dangerous. There were too many holes in it, so it wasn’t safe, and a big liability for the school,” Gingerella said.

He explained that the handball court was an old remnant of the old campus, which used to be accompanied by a tennis court and basketball court with two hoops. The tennis court had been removed about five years ago and so the basketball court and handball court remained untouched until recently. Ross says that the basketball court is going to come down soon as well.

Sports

Local YMCA takes on all NECC students

 

By: Carly Columbo

Correspondent

The YMCA on 40 Lawrence St. in Lawrence is giving away free memberships to NECC students. The announcement was posted on the MyNECC homepage on Feb. 19. The YMCA offers a gym, pool, indoor track, fitness center filled with equipment, and wellness classes. This offer will help students in or around the Lawrence area who want to be inspired to get in shape or simply have a place to play basketball or get more involved in the community. Many students without reliable transportation in the Lawrence area could utilize these tools to their advantage.

“I honestly had no idea this was being offered,” said Tracy Takumi, a current NECC student. “I think it’s great considering a lot of students pay for some if not all of their college so being able to have a space to relieve some stress without having to join a team is something positive. I’ll have to check it out.”

The Haverhill campus has a fitness center in the D building with equipment as well, but the Lawrence YMCA could stand as the wellness center for students primarily attending the Lawrence campuses.

“I think it’s awesome that the school put that into consideration,” said Eric Johnson, current NECC student. “I live in Lawrence and don’t have a car so I try to keep all most of my classes in Lawrence to avoid the shuttle, and I certainly am not motivated enough to take the shuttle just to use the fitness center in Haverhill.”

The YMCA is open to all students, regardless of what campus their classes are taken at. Students under 18 need a parent or guardian signature for the risk and consent form. All students over 18 can simply bring a copy of their schedule to D-125 or L-133 in Haverhill to pick up their voucher.

“I think more students could take advantage of this,” says YMCA employee Felicia Gonzalez. “I don’t really see Northern Essex kids in here, mostly just elementary school kids and organized teams. There’s a lot more here than just a gym and pool, it’s a great place to have a sense of community and social interaction and I think a lot of kids in Lawrence need that structure.”

Sports

Knights back to their winning ways

 

Since March 23, the NECC Knights baseball squad has played 5 games, all away from home. 2 of the games were in NY against Nassau Community College and the others were against Southern Maine, Dean College, and MassBay Community College.

The team traveled to NY on March 26 to take on Nassau CC in a double header, looking for some wins to better their 2-9 record.

The first game of the double header was a close loss, 9-8. The Knight’s top run scorer was shortstop Jordan Roper, who scored 3 runs. Roper also hit a double and 4 stolen bases. 2nd baseman, Traverse Briana, had the most RBI’s in the game with 3.

Anthony Daily was the losing pitcher for NECC. In 5 innings he gave up 9 hits and 5 runs, and he threw 4 strikeouts.

The Knights performed better in the 2nd game of the double header and won the match, 6-2. Briana led the pack in runs, scoring 3 and getting 2 hits. Outfielder, Colby Maiola, had a good game himself, scoring 1 run, getting 2 hits, and 3 RBI’s. One of his hits turned out to be a triple.

Evan Glew was the winning pitcher. In 7 innings he gave up 3 hits and 2 runs, and struck out 9 batters.

After the win, the Knights traveled back to New England to take on Southern Maine CC on March 29, where they won 15-3.

NECC Infielder, Jake Shepley, scored 3 runs and had 2 RBI’s. Shepley also hit a double. Outfielder, John Sirois, hit a home run in the game and had a whopping 6 RBI’s.

Nicholas Bruno was the winning pitcher, he gave up 3 hits, 3 runs, and struck out 5 in 5 innings.

When the Knights were done with Southern Maine, they came back to Mass to face Dean College and then MassBay CC.

NECC defeated Dean, 6-4. Shepley scored 2 runs and had 3 hits. Sirois hit 2 doubles and 4 RBI’s. Pitcher, Robert Barry, won the game. Through 5 innings, Barry gave up 3 runs and 6 hits and he struck out 2.

The Knights then moved on to their next game against MassBay, in which will most definitely be their highest final score of the season, NECC won 31-1. 16 of the runs came in the 3rd inning.

Brahiam Ortega and Xavier Nunez scored 4 runs each, Nunez also had 4 RBI’s and a home run. Keith Linnane, Matt Marquez, and James Foley also hit home runs in the big win.

Glew was the winning pitcher, he only gave up 2 hits and 1 run, and struck out 11 batters.

The Knights record is now 6-10, and they’re only getting better. The baseball team’s home opener is scheduled for April 7 against Holyoke Community College.

Uncategorized

Take a hike – no really, it relieves stress

 

By Mercedez McManus

Correspondent

The various outdoor areas surrounding NECC provide students with the perfect places to clear their minds of college stress.

Those who feel bogged down by homework, need somewhere to relax or simply have time to kill between classes should head on down to any of the tranquil outdoor areas surrounding NECC’s Haverhill campus.

These outdoor areas include Kenoza Lake and the Winnekenni Park Conservation Area, including the trails that run throughout the conservation area.

With spring finally here and warmer weather fast approaching (not to mention finals!), lazy afternoons lounging by the lake and peaceful walks through the forests are definitely begging to be had.

The nearest of these outdoor areas to NECC is the Isaac Merrill Trail, which has multiple entrances on Kenoza Street, including one just behind the NECC baseball field.

“I use (Merrill Trail) pretty well every day,” says NECC professor Meredith Gunning. “Would I recommend it to NECC students? You bet! It’s close to campus, great for getting rid of stress, great for having some relax time, and great for seeing the beauty (of nature).”

Gunning loves the stunning lake views and friendly wildlife she encounters along the trail, as well as the improvements that have been made to the trail through the Winnekenni Park Forest Stewardship program.

“The practice of forest stewardship is a dedication to the healthy preservation, protection and perpetuation of actively managed forests,” says Haverhill forester Jack Jackson. “Sound forest stewardship can help us keep the forests [healthy] for future generations.”

New benches, mile markers, and information signs have been added to the trails over the past couple of years, making them more user-friendly than ever before.

Some may be saddened, however, by the amount of trees that have been cut down in the area recently; even more are scheduled to come down in the future. This is all necessary, though, according to Jackson.

“Some of our forests sustain densities that do not allow sunlight to reach the forest floor to encourage new forest growth,” says Jackson.

“Other concerns are extensive storm damage and disease and insect invasions.”

In order to preserve the forests, as well as the various trails that run through them, active forest management is imperative if the public (including NECC students) wishes to continue utilizing such areas.

Another close-by trail for students to consider visiting is the Castle Trail, which is accessible by travelling through Merrill Trail, and whose entrance is located just outside of Haverhill’s own historic Winnekenni Castle.

The castle itself and the outdoor areas surrounding it are also good places to go for some rest and relaxation— and perhaps a bit of fun as well.

“Winnekenni Castle has a bunch of stuff going on throughout the year,” says NECC psychology major Kelly Smith. “They hold a lot of public events… I love going down there to see what’s happening.”

In addition to the castle’s public events, private events such as weddings and birthday parties are also held there from time to time.

When there are no events going on, the public is free to utilize the sprawling lawn areas around the castle, which have brilliant views of Kenoza Lake.

These areas are perfect for any outdoor activities from picnics to sunbathing, making it yet another great spot for NECC students to get away from college stress— even just for a little while. Says Smith, “It’s beautiful around this area… we’re really lucky to have these places.”​

Uncategorized

NECC student creates apparel brand

 

By: Cleo Brigham

Staff Writer

For many students it’s a struggle to stay positive with the stress of homework, part time jobs, and maintaining time for extracurricular activities, but for CJay DiPrima, staying positive is a way of life.

In 2012, DiPrima was diagnosed with a rare case of Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma called gray-zone.

He was nineteen at the time, and had to undergo half a year of intensive chemotherapy and radiation treatment.

DiPrima began remission in the fall of 2013, and soon after created the first T-shirt design for his company Stay Positive Apparel alongside his longtime friend Tom Mullin.

“This was an extremely difficult situation both physically and mentally, one where keeping a positive attitude seemed almost impossible,” DiPrima expressed on Stay Positive’s website.

“However, I learned quickly that being negative would get me nowhere. Also, my family and friends would always tell me that thinking positive would help me through the entire process. Needless to say, they weren’t wrong.”

Stay Positive Apparel was created to inspire those who need positive thinking the most, as well as to give back thirty percent of proceeds from each sale to Massachusetts General Pediatric Oncology Program, where DiPrima was treated.

DiPrima is currently an Art major with a focus in multimedia, but he will be graduating this spring and intends to transfer to Southern New Hampshire University to major in graphic design and media art.

Stay Positive’s T-shirt design is printed on tank tops, winter hats, baseball caps, sweatshirts, wristbands, and visors for both men and women. The merchandise is produced locally by Body Rags in Pelham, N.H. DiPrima has a shipping station in his home, and is able to ship Stay Positive apparel all over the world.

The Stay Positive logo’s lime green color represents the color for lymphoma awareness.

However, the color of the positive sign on their merchandise can be changed to bring awareness to the other types of cancer. DiPrima stressed the importance of recognizing other cancer colors besides pink for breast cancer as a way to provide support for everyone who struggles with the disease.

DiPrima’s goal for Stay Positive Apparel is to touch more people, become a household name, and raise as much money as possible. They are also currently in the process of trying to convert the business from an LLC to a non-profit. This process can prove very costly, so DiPrima has set up a GoFundMe account. “We just want to change lives for the better.” DiPrima stated.

Donate to Stay Positive Apparel’s GoFundMe at https://www.gofundme.com/staypositivedonate.

Uncategorized

Home-schoolers start college early

 

In today’s culture, where public education has become the norm for K-12 students, individuals who are home-schooled tend to be misunderstood and associated with a variety of stereotypes. 

Such stereotypes include speculations as to whether the home-schooled student ever leaves their house, how they make friends if they don’t attend school, and how complete their education truly is. 

In reality, most home-schooled students are not that different from those who learn in public or private schools. 

There are some students whose parents choose to homeschool them to accommodate disabilities they may have.  However, the majority of these students are home-schooled due to their parents’ beliefs that they will be able to give them a better education at home. 

According to the National Home Education Research Institute, there are more than 2 million students in the U.S. in grades K-12, which equates to 4 percent of all school-aged children.

In 2009, a study was done by Michael Cogan, the “director of institutional research and analysis” at the University of St. Thomas.  This study researched the success of home-schooled students at a medium-sized Midwest university. 

The results from this study found that home-schooled students earn more college credits while still in high school than other students, the average being 14.7 credits for home-schoolers in comparison to only 6 credits for non-home-schoolers. 

Meriwether Kimball, a Creative Writing major, was a home-schooled student who started taking courses at NECC while she was still in high school. 

Although she struggled at first with time management that was necessary to balance the work of three or four classes a semester, her experience ended up preparing to eventually move to Harvard Extension school this past semester. 

“Being in a classroom environment gave me that missing structure so I turned in work on time,” she said. 

After completing classes where she studied subjects such as literature, art and Shakespeare, she successfully got her GED.

“This was a better route for my particular interests,” she said.  “I got an A in my first semester at Harvard, so it seems to have been the right decision.”

Rosa Herbawi, a Biology major, attended NECC for two semesters as a senior in high school,

taking 3 or 4 classes a semester.  Before she came to NECC, she started taking classes at Middlesex Community College as a junior.

“My transition wasn’t really bad at all because I started out easy with taking one community college class per semester that supplemented my home schooling,” she said. 

“Before classes started I was really nervous, but once they started I never had any trouble at all so I definitely think that I was well prepared.”

Currently, Herbawi has returned to Middlesex this semester to take a few more classes before she transfers to a 4-year school in the fall. 

She has already gotten accepted to UMass Boston and University of Southern Maine.

Once she graduates with her bachelor’s degree, she plans on pursuing a doctorate degree or applying to veterinary school to become a vet tech. 

“Overall, I think home schooling has actually given me a head start in life and I’m grateful for it,” she said.

Nina Cabral, a dance major in her last semester at NECC has been home-schooled her entire life. 

Her parents decided to home-school her because her mother wanted Cabral and her siblings to be able to have the freedom to advance in their education. 

“She wanted our education to be more wholesome and also wanted us to excel because she knew a lot of home-schoolers who were doing really well,” she said.

“I learned that being a genius, or being really intelligent, is not necessarily that you’re born with this innate talent to have knowledge, but that you’re put in an accelerated program and you just learn it sooner.”

During high school, Cabral did a combination of online classes and classes at a local home-school co-op where other students came together and learned from parents in a classroom setting. 

Before high school, she didn’t have a lot of experience working with deadlines, so this experience forced her to start working a lot harder to meet those deadlines.

She had also started dancing the year before she started high school, which took up a lot of her time. 

“I would be gone for almost three days because of dance class, and then have all of this homework to come home to,” she said.

If she wasn’t home-schooled and didn’t have that time available to devote to dancing, she may have never achieved the success that she has today.

“I felt like I had so much homework during those four years of high school and was so overwhelmed by it that when I got to college, it was still a little overwhelming, but it was a nice transition,” she said.

Cabral recently was accepted to Boston Conservatory and received a big scholarship, enabling her to continue to pursue her dream of becoming a dance teacher in Boston.

Taking classes at community college while still in high school can not only reduce the cost of earning a degree by thousands of dollars, but can also reduce the amount of time the student has to put in to get their degree. 

For example, the average amount of 14.7 credits that home-schoolers get while in high school equates to almost a full semester.

Further research in the study conducted by Cogan also found that home-schooled students also achieve significantly higher ACT scores, grade point averages and graduation rates in comparison to students educated in public or private schools at the university.  The home-schoolers’ GPA reports resulted in an average of a 3.74 GPA in comparison to an average of 3.54 for other students. 

This evidence seems to contradict the popular stereotypes associated with home-schoolers for not getting a solid education or being prepared for college. 

In reality, home schooling can save time and money, as well as encouraging educational growth and independence. 

As in public and private schools, it really depends on the student, as everyone has strengths in different areas.

Campus Life

Student leadership retreat meets

 

Student leaders from NECC attended a Massachusetts Higher Education Student Leadership Retreat at Fitchburg State University in Fitchburg, MA.

The leadership retreat began in 2002, after a task force took two years to see how they could improve the quality of student life on all campuses across the state. After the two years were complete, the task force decided to change the “Conference on the Quality of Student Life,” into the “Student Leadership Conference.”

Grant Bellino, a Philosophy major said, “The conference is a great way of meeting new people that attend different school from all over Massachusetts, I really enjoyed it.”

When students registered for the conference they were given choices of what workshops to attend. They had four sessions to choose from for the first workshop and another four to choose from for the second workshop. Three of the student leaders all chose the “Developing Yourself as a Polished Leader” workshop.

In this workshop the student leaders were taught some tricks of getting through public speaking. They were given a pile of paper, they had to draw one and talk about that subject for one minute. The subjects ranged from “Dunkin Donuts vs. Starbucks” to “Who is someone you look up to?”

Jasmine Polanco, a Political Science major, picked the one that asked, “What is your favorite board or video game?” Polanco began to talk about the game Monopoly but turned into a great memory she had with her family playing the game. Polanco said, “I’d have fun playing the game with my family until they brought Boardwalk or Park Place on me, then I wanted to quit.” This made the entire room burst into laughter.

Victoria Gonzalez, a business transfer student had to speak about her favorite food. She decided to speak about soul food. She spoke about the different types of soul food from macaroni and cheeses to fried chicken. Gonzalez said, “Soul food just speaks to you.” This also brought humor to the room.

Bellino had to speak about what is better, cats or dogs. This got the crowd worked up because he was a cat person and most of the workshop attendees were dog people. Bellino said, “I’d want to be a cat, they get to sleep all day and get to eat tuna fish.”

The second set of workshops had the students breaking up to go to two different workshops. One of “Utilizing Student Leadership Skills in the “Real World,” and “The Politics of Money.”

In the Utilizing Student Leadership Skills, the presenter spoke about the stereotypes that the millennial generation face on a daily basis. They went over some of the stereotypes and some of the popular ones were that they were spoon fed, needed everything done for them, and needed praise. The presents Dave Koffman, Director of Communications and Policy for Massachusetts Community Colleges gave suggestions on how to get past those.

Koffman said, “Remember the strengths you have and bring them to the table.”

When the stereotypes were being discussed, there was one participant who was shocked that people thought this about his generation and yelled across the room.

“Who thinks this about us?”

Koffman responded with, “Just about everyone who’s older than you.”

After the workshops the student leaders presented with a keynote speaker while they enjoyed their lunch. The Keynote Speaker was Senator Michael Moore from Millbury, who serves as the Senate Chair on the Joint Committee on Higher Education in the Massachusetts State Legislature.

Senator Moore decided not to talk about higher education, but instead about money and how it is broke up between the Massachusetts colleges. He let students know that although most think Massachusetts is number one for its schools, it actually falls forty-eighth in the country for state funds.

When the speech was over Senator Moore announced, “Before I go, I have one question for you. How many of you believe we are losing the war on drugs?”

Senator Moore then began to talk about marijuana and how he thinks it is bad to legalize it. He spoke about going to Colorado and letting the student leaders all the bad things he saw. He began to use a ton of stereotypes about marijuana smokers. Students seemed to be getting irritated with his presentation and him going on about his agenda as opposed to talking about higher education in the state.

“That was not right that he did that,” said Gonzalez. ‘He should have spoken about what he was there for, not about legalizing marijuana.”

The question was asked again by Senator Moore. “Who believes we are losing the war on drugs?”

A student yelled from across the room, “We’re losing the war on heroin, not marijuana.”

To wrap up the day the students were taught a bit about sexual violence that happens to all and seems to happen more than anyone in the room expected. The presentation was given by Rachel DiBella, MSW, Assistant Director at Boston College’s Women’s Center and a Visiting Lecturer at Framingham State.

Dibella spoke about how one in five people is a victim of sexual violence. She also wanted to make it very clear that the stats don’t exactly encompass all the different gender identities, which is an important thing to note.

Another statistic Dibella gave was that, “Most of the victims or survivors of sexual violence are first-semester female college students and they happen in dormitories.”

This statistic resonated with the room of college students and many questions came up as a result of it.

Arts and Entertainment

‘Batman v. Superman’ a painful film experience

 

★ (out of four stars)

Remember when superhero movies used to be fun?

Wait, wait, wait. Before you make any assumptions, let me be the first to say that I have no problem with DC and Marvel’s characters taking themselves more seriously. I absolutely loved   the high-stakes, tense political thriller elements in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” and Christopher Nolan’s sometimes-infamously cerebral “The Dark Knight” remains my favorite superhero movie of all time.

But while both of those films had a sense of fun and adventure along with their darker, more brooding elements, Zack Snyder’s “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” is the cinematic equivalent of being repeatedly hit over the head with a large shovel. It is painful, unpleasant, mind-numbing and seemingly unending. We often go to films — especially those of the superhero variety — to get away from the stinging pain of reality, but Snyder’s relentless mess blasts the meanness and hate of the world into our eyes for an eye-twitching two and a half hours. This is easily one of the most cheerless times you can have at the movies this year.

One question I’d like to ask Snyder is whether or not he actually wants us to root for Bats and Supes at all, because this movie makes them look an awful lot like the villains to me. That sentiment runs right through the premise, which sees Batman (Ben Affleck) seeking revenge after the climax of “Man of Steel,” in which Superman (Henry Cavill) killed a not-insignificant number of innocent people in Metropolis while fighting General Zod. Why does this specifically bother this Batman, who is no stranger to killing (or branding criminals with the Bat-symbol) himself? Well, as we see in a sequence that is almost sure to evoke chilling memories of the September 11 terrorist attacks, the Metropolis branch of Wayne Enterprises becomes one of the casualties of the battle between Superman and Zod — and with it, a lot of Wayne’s friends and colleagues.

One thing I’ll give Snyder credit for is his ability to make the raw power and vigilantism of superheroes a palpable, and even fearful, onscreen element. When Superman used his powers in “Man of Steel,” you got the sense that one guy having the ability to essentially destroy the entire world was not necessarily the best thing for humanity, even if he was on our side. That continues here: in “The Dark Knight,” Batman’s light-flickering arrival in the Batmobile was cause for cheers of celebration; in “Batman v. Superman,” we get our first real taste of Batman as we hear the offscreen screams of a sex trafficker being tortured by him. And if that comparison doesn’t help you understand the differing tone of these films, the rest of this review isn’t going to help you.

Not that I’m making a qualitative statement of any sort there: there’s nothing inherently wrong with making superheroes appear as scary as they might be in real life, so long as you’re going to follow through on the potential moral complexity of such a story. 

Instead, we get a truly lame and intelligence-insulting rollout of The Usual Cliches, including Senator Finch (Holly Hunter), who is holding a Super Significant congressional hearing on Superman’s questionable actions. She’s in charge of hammering home the point through cringe-inducing lines clearly written for the trailer, including “The world has been so caught up with what (Superman) can do … that no one has asked what he should do.” Then there’s Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), who — beyond getting one of the most embarrassingly over-the-top and directionless performances of a villain in recent memory — orchestrates the title fight through eye-rollingly predictable manipulation that makes Affleck’s Batman look like a stooge. If this guy’s supposed to be “The World’s Greatest Detective,” why can’t he see he’s being played like a Bat-fiddle?

But let’s get back to my first point: why exactly should we be rooting for these guys in the first place? Has Snyder intentionally turned these childhood icons into such monsters? “Batman v. Superman” focuses so much on how Super Significant its central battle is that it forgets to make either of its lead characters likeable in the process.

These guys don’t seem to have a real reason for doing anything they do, other than “the script said so” — leaving us to, essentially, pick the lesser of two evils in a fight between two sociopaths. Make up your own “election year” joke here.

That’s to say nothing of the incomprehensibility of the film, which is at a stunningly high level for a mainstream picture that got as much advertising attention as it did.

The basics of Film Theory 101 are dropped left and right, making the relatively simple plot difficult to follow. Why does the story seem like it’s told in a random order? What are these “Knightmare” sequences that blur the lines of what’s actually happening vs. what is in Batman’s head, solely for the purpose of exciting fanboys? Why does so much of what happens onscreen seem extraneous and irrelevant to telling the story, including one shameless scene that is essentially an advertisement for future DC Extended Universe installments? And where, oh where are the establishing shots that tell us where we are in this bloody mess?

A lot of people have been excitedly asking themselves the question, “So how good is Ben Affleck as Batman?” Unfortunately, this question makes a basic assumption of the filmmakers’ abilities: that they would have written and approved a script good enough to showcase Affleck’s acting chops in the role. They did not, and as such, this question — one I was very excited to see answered myself — largely remains up in the air.

How good is Ben Affleck as Batman? Who cares? He does about as well as everyone else giving soulless, unrelentingly grim performances in this film, which is to say literally everyone else outside of Gal Gadot. Her Wonder Woman is just about the only character that seems to be enjoying herself, and her grinning playfulness during the final battle is the only thing that kept me from nodding off through the deluge of bad CGI and deafening sound effects.

And you know, that feeling just about sums up my time with “Batman v. Superman” as a whole: I never thought such an assault on the senses could leave me so drowsy, but here we are.

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