The 2026 Spring Commencement will mark 10 years since I graduated from NECC and stood upon the stage to present the 2016 Student Senate Gift to the school as the Student Senate President. Ten years is a long time, and a lot can happen in a person’s life. My life in the past year has been a whirlwind of the most unwanted life changes that take a certain kind of person to handle, someone which I did not know was me.
It all started around October 2024. My husband Jimmy started getting severe back pain. This was concerning because in 2020 at the beginning of the pandemic he was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis, which paralyzed him from the chest down. He had to learn how to walk again, which he did so successfully that when he met new doctors, they were shocked, he had Transverse Myelitis. Jimmy did still have aftereffects but got himself off the medicine.
As October moved along Jimmy started to lose weight. We were not concerned too much because he had been eating healthy and exercising after recovering. As we moved through November of 2024 the pain in his back became worse and his appetite started to wane. Thanksgiving was a sign that something just was not right. My mom and him were getting ready to sit down for our dinner and you could just tell by looking in his face that food was not something he wanted. We, like everyone else, always look forward to our Thanksgiving meal. He barely ate anything.
The week after Thanksgiving things started to get worse for Jimmy. Jimmy got in touch with his doctor, in which the doctor suggested going to Mass General Hospital in Boston for a test. The day of the test was December 8th, 2024, my birthday. Later that night the doctor called him to tell him they believe he had cancer. The next day I drove him into MGH in Boston to admit him.
While in the hospital they were able to diagnose exactly what type of cancer Jimmy had. It was called Germ Cell Cancer, and it was very rare in adultThey also discovered that Jimmy had a minor stroke caused from the cancer. He began his cancer treatment journey while in the hospital and remained there until Christmas Day. I do believe they wanted to keep him, but they know we wanted to celebrate with my mom for Christmas like we always had.
Jimmy and I began driving into Boston every week for his cancer treatments. They were a couple times a week along with his doctor’s appointments. The drive was agonizing for him, but he began to get better. The tumor was shrinking and his appetite was coming back. The doctors even said they think it’s going to be a great prognosis. We were excited of course, but then a wrench was thrown into the fight
Before he got home it was discussed with the doctors that he would need care while going through the treatment. We were all we had besides my mom who lived an hour and a half away. I decided to go out on what I thought was a paid Family Medical Leave. I found out later it was not going to be paid because although I lived in Massachusetts and worked for a company based in Massachusetts, the store I worked in was in New Hampshire. Just five minutes over the border. I was able to get emergency food stamps as well as created a go fund me that brought in five thousand dollars. Once that was gone there was nothing.
While in Boston at one of Jimmy’s chemo appointments my phone rang. I did not recognize the number, but I did answer it. It was my mom’s doctor. He was calling to let me know that my mother was just diagnosed with lung cancer. He began to explain how treatment would work. I stopped him and explained what was going on with Jimmy. You could tell it broke his heart. His voice began to crack as he told me how sorry he was. I just said thank you. I called him later to discuss my mom and her treatment plans.
It was now around the end of February and Jimmy began to have severe pain that would cause him to wake up during the night. The pain was so bad he was crying in the fetal position. I was so scared I did not know what was happening or what was going on. I wanted to help him, and I was able to manage his pain with his medication and help from paramedics we called. His pain was not improving so I drove him into MGH for his chemo treatment.
When we arrived, they took his vitals like they always did. They did not like what they saw so they ran him so fast down to the emergency room as they thought he might have had a heart attack. They began sticking things all over him and drawing blood from him. I was sitting right under the box to dispose of the needles, and I couldn’t believe the amounts that were passing over me. They admitted him to the hospital to figure out what was going on.
We were in the middle of March and after more testing they realized the tumor began to stop reacting to the chemo treatment and began to grow. It was getting very close to his spine. They decided that he was going to need radiation as well as the chemo, but before that could happen, they needed to try to get some of the tumor out of him with surgery. They performed the surgery and got most of the tumor out. They thought with the radiation it would take care of it. He came home a couple of days later for me to take care of him.
Jimmy was home for about a week and a half when he woke up in severe pain again and we went through the same process of calling the paramedics to make sure he was okay and manage the pain. A few nights went by, and Jimmy woke up in the morning in agony. He had an appointment that day, so I got him ready and we headed into MGH. After seeing him they were not happy and he was admitted once again. The diagnosis was that the tumor was getting bigger in his spine and it took out hearing in his left ear. We were very scared and had no idea what this meant. I personally thought, that’s okay they cured this his hearing would come back. That was not the case. The tumor was not reacting to any treatment and only getting bigger. It now took out his right arm. He no longer had any movement; it was decided that nothing was going to help Jimmy and he got a terminal diagnosis. They decided he should come home under hospice to pass away peacefully at home.
Although we had been together for twenty-five years we were not married. He wanted to marry me before he passed. So, while dealing with the worst reality of my life I ran around and planned a wedding for the day he got home from the hospital, April 6, 2025. Jimmy did not remain conscious much after that day and he passed away on April 15, 2025.
While grieving the loss of my husband and trying to figure out life my mom began her cancer treatment planning. She began taking the proper medicine, getting the tests and planning all her treatment. This was around the end of July. As she began her journey with cancer, she had a reaction to medicine and ended up in the hospital. The reaction made her delirious. She did not know where she was or why some of us were there. She was saying very off the wall things that were making the nursed giggle. That’s how I figured out she was going to be fine. They said sometimes this happens to senior citizens when they end up in the hospital. She ended up receiving her first treatment while in the hospital.
My mom ended up in the hospital again. This time she overdosed a certain medicine and was admitted ended up delirious again. She lived in North Attleboro so getting there for emergencies was not easy as I had to drive an hour and a half to get there. I wanted my mom to have her independence, but we all started talking about her possible move-in with me temporarily, and I will take her to all her treatments and appointments down in North Attleboro. This meant work had to be put on hold yet again.
When she was to get out it was decided she should spend some time in a skilled nursing rehab. This made me nervous because the longer she spent in the hospital the more delirious she would get. I agreed and she was sent there. She was there for a little more than twelve hours before I arrived. The hospital setting did not seem clean to me and smelled horrible of feces. I demanded that my mother was to be released to me and I will take care of her. I promised her I would never send her to a place like that again.
When I got my mom home it took a couple weeks to get her out of the delirium. When I finally did, she thought something was wrong with her brain because she didn’t remember anything.
Luckly, they did brain scans and nothing was wrong with her brain. This really scared her as it did me. My mom began cleaning and doing laundry, which was her favorite past time. She is becoming her old self again. It was great.
For the most part during my mom’s treatments she did well. There were times when she was having problems keeping here iron and potassium up and caused her to get three blood transfusions during her treatments. Until one point when we went to her treatment and her breathing test came back and they were very low. Although she seemed fine, she had pneumonia and ended up in the hospital again and you guessed it ended up with delirium. They healed her up from that and again and wanted to send her to a rehab. I knew in my heart my mom would do better at home, she was her own best rehab.
One day I woke her up to go to her treatment and she was not feeling well at all. I forced her to go to the treatment because they couldn’t be missed. She was extremely drowsy and could not keep her eyes open and I noticed drool coming out of her mouth. I wiped it as we were driving down 128 a little too fast but I was nervous. I drove an hour and a half all the way to her treatment. When we got there, they checked her vitals and did not like her breathing. They sent her down to the emergency room and decided to admit her. She had had a heart attack during the night, and this was the result. They admitted her to the ICU for just one day thankfully then admitted her to a room where she spent about a week in the hospital. She ended up delirious again.
She finally finished her chemo treatments and was receiving immune building medications as well as bone building medications. This meant we only had to go there once every three weeks with exception of doctors’ appointments. She was taken off most of her diabetes medicine, which was great news. That was until it was time for a PET scan. We could not get her blood sugar to level off enough to get the scan, so we started her back on diabetes medicine. We were able to get a CT scan and see that the cancer was shrinking.
As moms’ treatments began to change it meant I could start to look for a job again. I ended up finding a part time job in October that I was so grateful for. My mom’s appointments were at the end of the week, so I worked Sunday through Tuesday. My bills were piling, the house bills at this point I had two major plumbing issues; my front stairs were falling apart and my dryers motor burnt out. I considered it a test from heaven to show how strong I actually am.
My mom was doing well during the month of November, but never truly felt like herself. She was doing better than she was except for a little pain. We even had a nice family birthday party for her. She was treated like a queen and was so happy. It was great to see her smile. We came upon Thanksgiving and I began having trouble with the loss of my husband. We were going full haul into the holidays and I was scared. Scared of my emotions, scared of the thoughts in my
head, and scared of the pain I was going to feel losing my husband. I did not want to do a thing for Christmas, but I knew I had to show my mom a good Christmas. So Thanksgiving I put up two Christmas Trees and my mom decorated them with photos of all three of us made by a friend. It turned out beautiful.
As December came in, we were approaching my birthday and the one-year anniversary of Jimmy being diagnosed with cancer and being admitted to the hospital. My anxiety was high; my sadness was high. I really didn’t know how I was going to make it through the next few weeks. Jimmys anniversary of diagnoses came and I did well as I was still taking care of my mom.
It was now December 10th and my phone rang while I was at work. It was my brother. I knew something was wrong because he never called only texted. I couldn’t answer but texted him I am at work and get out at 8:15. He called immediately at 8:15 and let me know my dad died the day after my birthday. He had found him in the back of Jersey Mikes on Route One in Saugus, MA. He was also battling with cancer. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, but it still broke my heart especially with everything I have already gone through.
Right after this happened, I had to rush my mom to the hospital as she was not feeling well. Thankfully this time it was from dehydration, so they gave her an IV and sent us on our way. This caused me to call out of work for the first time due to an emergency and I also had to take a day off to go to my dad’s wake. I did not receive any bereavement pay because they said I was in the first ninety days of employment. My dad’s wake was two days before Christmas.
My mom had a treatment scheduled for Christmas Eve. We didn’t have much for plans because of the treatment, but I was going to cook a nice meal when we got home. When mom woke up on Christmas eve she was not feeling well at all. I told her don’t worry we are going to her appointment and hopefully they can figure it out. We got to her appointment, and they did all the testing needed before treatment. Her platelets were extremely low, and she needed another blood transfusion before she could get her treatment. This slowed us down a lot and our Christmas eve dinner was McDonalds. The plus side of that my mom felt wonderful on Christmas morning and she had a great Christmas and right through New Years.
About a week after the new year my mom began going downhill. She was falling and spilling her food. She was having trouble holding her bowels. She woke up one night in severe pain begging me to please help her. This broke my heart as there wasn’t much I could do. We had to call an ambulance and have her brought to Anna Jacques hospital. I had to call out of work for the second time because of this and subsequently fired with the excuse being I called out twice for an emergency.
My mom was treated for Pneumonia and AFIB. She was out in a few days but ended up back in as she caught the flu while in the hospital. This time our goal was to get her into rehab and then to her oncologist so we could figure out what was going on. My mom was transferred to rehab and that same night ended up back in the emergency room. My mom deteriorated more every day and came home to my house for Hospice on January 28th until she passed on January 29, 2026.
Now with my two best friends gone I am trying to figure out life. I have applied for over 100 jobs on indeed as well as reaching out to people for help to no avail. I have applied for unemployment and was denied because I did not make enough last year. I received a six-thousand-dollar bill for the rest of my mom’s funereal expenses with zero way of paying it. All I want to do is work to keep my home and pay my bills. Life was great after graduating from NECC in 2016, but now I am literally fighting to survive. Please hug your loved ones every day and tell them how much you love them.
